IVF: The Road That Led Us Here

If you're not keen on personal stories, this post might be a bit much for you, and that's completely okay. But for those who know me well, you know I’m not afraid to share my journey. It wasn’t always this way—I used to feel ashamed of my struggles, keeping them to myself because they weren’t something openly discussed. Add to that the fact that some doctors dismissed my pain, telling me it was all in my head, and you can understand why I kept quiet for so long. For years, I believed it might actually be in my head.

But as I got older and started talking with other women about their experiences with periods and fertility, I noticed a common theme—we all kept our stories to ourselves until someone asked. I remember holding back so much information out of fear of judgment, afraid that this wasn’t a topic people wanted to hear about, that what women go through is somehow shameful. But now, I know differently. And I’m no longer afraid to share—even if sometimes I may overshare!

So, how did we get to IVF? To fully understand, I need to take you back to when I first became a woman.

I was 14 and in high school when I got my first period. Back then, all I knew was what they covered in health class—which, if you went to a Catholic school 20+ years ago like I did, you’ll know wasn’t much! Every month, my period would come with intense pain and heavy flow, forcing me to take 2-3 days off school. After about six months of this, the school nurse told me this wasn’t normal and suggested I see a doctor.

At the doctor’s office, they didn’t tell me much—just prescribed the pill and said it would help. Spoiler: it didn’t. The pain and heavy flow continued, but I was young and didn’t know how to advocate for myself. So, like many others, I manipulated my cycle—skipping periods for a few months and timing them around school and work so I wouldn’t have to miss anything.

For years, I thought this was just how it was. No one talked about it, so I assumed it was normal. But as time went on, my symptoms worsened. Frustrated, I finally went to a male doctor for advice, and he outright told me it was all in my head. I already felt ashamed about discussing my period, so hearing that from a medical professional sent me right back into silence, suffering for many more years.

I jumped from doctor to doctor, trying to find someone I felt comfortable with. It wasn’t until I met a female doctor specializing in women’s health that I finally felt heard. I opened up about everything, and she was shocked by what I’d been told. She ran tests, performed surgery, and yet—no official diagnosis. But at least, with the right medication, I was finally able to manage the pain and flow. Unfortunately, that medication was later discontinued. Why do they always do that?!

Fast forward to three years ago, when we got serious about starting a family. I went off the pill, and my crazy periods returned. A friend recommended a natural therapist, and she introduced me to products that helped regulate my cycle and prepare my body for pregnancy. From the beginning, she suspected I had endometriosis, though I still don’t have a formal diagnosis.

After two years of trying with no success, we started exploring medical testing. That’s when I experienced what I now call the "Gremlin Period." I went and seen my normal doctor and I was told me there was nothing they could do and that I should just go home, write in a diary for three months, and come back if anything changed. I was furious. No, furious doesn’t even cover it—I was broken. I had a panic attack, questioning everything. I went and seen another doctor a few months later, when I started to feel ok with everything and they suspected I had a chemical pregnancy.

If there’s one thing, I want others to take from my experience, it’s this: If something doesn’t feel right, don’t accept dismissive answers. You know your body better than anyone. Keep pushing until you get the care you deserve, no one can tell you what you are going through isn't actually happening.

After that devastating experience, I had a massive breakdown, crying for days. My husband was my rock, helping me through it. Eventually, we decided to take a break from trying, focusing instead on our health and happiness. The universe must have been looking out for us because not long after, an unexpected job opportunity led us to North Queensland, where everything started falling into place.

A traveling doctor referred us to a specialist in Townsville, and their team has been incredible. They’ve worked around our remote location, ensuring we get the best care possible. Earlier this year, we had our first appointment and redid all the tests. Everything came back normal, meaning our challenge likely lies in fertilization, implantation, or pregnancy retention.

And that brings us to today—our first round of IVF this month.

We’re feeling a mix of excitement and realism. We know the road ahead is uncertain, but we’re hopeful. Everyone’s journey to parenthood looks different, and this is just one path we’re trying. Our dream is to have a family, and while we know there will be bumps along the way, we’re ready to chase that dream with everything we have.

Here’s to the journey. 💛